4/17/2024 0 Comments Kink limits ONLINE checklistIf you’re using safewords, what are they?.Will you be using safewords or plain language? (for info on safewords, watch my video on Youtube).This section of the negotiation checklist covers limits (hard and soft), safewords, pushing limits and the sobriety of the participants. This section of the negotiation checklist looks at the who, where and the timing of your scene. This is where the person in authority makes the decisions and the person giving up the authority obeys, even if they don’t want to. Opt-out negotiation means that anything is fair game except the hard limits or activities deemed off limits.Ĭonsensual Non-Consent is typically a relationship style, but some people do structure play within this type of structure. Opt-in negotiation means that only the activities discussed and agreed to are a part of play. Make sure you understand why style of consent and negotiation that you are involved in. That said, feel free to use any of these suggestions when negotiating relationship dynamics too. The list is more oriented towards play, where people will likely have similar topics to discuss, whereas relationships are very individual. This negotiation checklist is meant as a guideline to help you when planning play or dynamics with new people. It is not as extensive as Bex Caputo’s or Scarleteen’s list, but it does offer a look at what a colourful and engaging Y/N/M list could look like.We all hear about the importance of negotiation in BDSM play and relationships. I found this list to be very engaging because of its design. The cool feature of Autostraddle’s Y/N/M list is that it is actually a set of worksheets that are quite visually appealing. The lists consider positions in giving and receiving and ask how frequently one wants to feel a particular emotion: often, sometimes, or never. Caputo explores a few options: Yes – Into, Yes – Willing, Maybe, No. It asks what kind of activities one wants to explore what one want to be called in bed what kind of emotions one want to feel while engaging in sex and kink. It’s quite exhaustive because it covers sex, kink, language, and feelings. There is one for those who are “vanilla” and want to explore their sexuality.īex Caputo’s Superpowered Yes/No/Maybe List.īex Caputo’s Y/N/M list is a bit different from the other ones on this list. Sexuality educator and pleasure advocate Sunny Megatron shares two Y/N/M lists in the link above. Often, these little details are overlooked when people engage in intimacy, so it’s great that Scarleteen’s checklist dives into some of these finer details. Scarleteen’s sexual inventory checklist is very thorough and covers a lot of ground as it discusses body boundaries such as boundaries about direct eye contact. Scarleteen’s Yes/No/Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Checklist. They are great places to start conversations and, when you get more experience with them, you can create your own! Here are some Yes/No/Maybe checklists you can take a look at. Respect, consent and ongoing communication with each other are key points here. If there is a “Maybe”, there could be an opportunity to talk it through further to understand more, if you are each willing to share more.If one of you says “No”, you can let that go or you can start a conversation to understand more about the person’s feelings and desires.If both you and your partner, hookup or date say “Yes'' to the same thing, that gives you some common ground to talk more about what that/those activities can look like.For the checkbox ones, if you feel comfortable doing any intimate actions, you mark “yes.” Not into it at all? Please tick "no." When you're not sure how you feel or are still considering the act, you put “maybe.” As for the fill-in ones, please write “Y” next to the action you feel comfortable doing, enter “N” when you aren’t interested in the activity and “M'' if you are unsure. There are typically two types of Yes/No/Maybe Checklist - they can come in checkbox format and fill-in format. There are many different Yes/No/Maybe lists you can use to help you explore different sexual activities and physical boundaries. While this may seem like a pretty self-explanatory checklist, it is used to help communicate effectively around sex, physical intimacy, consent, and fun between sexual partners. Have you heard of a Yes/No/Maybe Checklist?
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